‘I never want to speak to you again or see your lying face around here!’
That has to be the most disrespectful and unsettling way to call off your long term or short term relationship. You may think this is the best way to end an abusive or toxic relationship but it's never okay.
For a second think about your state of mind and how petty you'll come off. Think about the tons of energy you'll have to burn out to deliver such spiteful speech to someone that may or may not care about you anymore.
Though not all relationships end because of abuse or mental instability, it is always advisable to break up respectably.
Growing apart is one of the most common reasons couples call quits on their years of kisses and hugs. You begin to find out that your interests, ideas, values, and feelings aren't as well-matched as you had thought. You begin to ponder over what had earlier attracted you to him/her. Sometimes you fight against these thoughts and try to convince yourself that it's just the downside of a relationship and you'd still get over it but you don't.
Developing feelings for someone else or changing your mind about your partner is another major reason couples break up.
These days, break-up is almost a trend. With the much hurt and heartbreak, you’ll have to go through, you wonder why people even bother.
While some people rather avoid the unpleasant task of starting a break-up conversation, others have a 'just get it over with' attitude.
But neither of these approaches are the best one. Avoiding just prolongs the situation (and may end up hurting the other person more). And if you rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through, you may say things you regret.
Saying you things you may regret is always inevitable.
Break-up Do's and Don'ts
Every situation is different. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to breaking up. But there are some general "do's and don'ts" you can keep in mind as you start thinking about having that break-up conversation.
Think over what you want and why you want it. Take time to consider your feelings and the reasons for your decision. Be true to yourself. Even if the other person might be hurt by your decision, it's OK to do what's right for you. You just need to do it in a sensitive way.
Think about what you'll say and how the other person might react. Will your BF or GF be surprised? Sad? Mad? Hurt? Or even relieved? Thinking about the other person's point of view and feelings can help you be sensitive. It also helps you prepare. Do you think the person you're breaking up with might cry? Lose his or her temper? How will you deal with that kind of reaction?
Have good intentions. Let the other person know he or she matters to you. Think about the qualities you want to show toward the other person — like honesty, kindness, sensitivity, respect, and caring.
Be honest — but not brutal. Tell the other person the things that attracted you in the first place, and what you like about him or her. Then say why you want to move on. "Honesty" doesn't mean "harsh." Don't pick apart the other person's qualities as a way to explain what's not working. Think of ways to be kind and gentle while still being honest.
Say it in person. You've shared a lot with each other. Respect that (and show your good qualities) by breaking up in person. If you live far away, try to video chat or at least make a phone call. Breaking up through texting or Facebook may seem easy. But think about how you'd feel if your BF or GF did that to you — and what your friends would say about that person's character!
If it helps, confide in someone you trust. It can help to talk through your feelings with a trusted friend. But be sure the person you confide in can keep it private until you have your actual break-up conversation with your BF or GF. Make sure your BF/GF hears it from you first — not from someone else. That's one reason why parents, older sisters or brothers, and other adults can be great to talk to. They're not going to blab or let it slip out accidentally.
Don't avoid the other person or the conversation you need to have. Dragging things out makes it harder in the long run — for you and your BF or GF. Plus, when people put things off, information can leak out anyway. You never want the person you're breaking up with to hear it from someone else before hearing it from you.
Don't rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through. You may say things you regret.
Don't disrespect. Speak about your ex (or soon-to-be-ex) with respect. Be careful not to gossip or badmouth him or her. Think about how you'd feel. You'd want your ex to say only positive things about you after you're no longer together. Plus, you never know — your ex could turn into a friend or you might even rekindle a romance someday.
Note that these do's and don'ts aren't limited to just break-ups. You can also follow the same guideline to politely turn down a dating request.